Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
