Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
