I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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