I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize