If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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