i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
