he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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