Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
