That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
