The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Come on in and take your pants off
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