Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
