did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
