No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
