It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
