He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
