Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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