In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize