i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
