Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
