he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I currently don't understand fingers.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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