i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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