im having a threesome with these popsicles
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
im holly from the hills drunk
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize