So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
