I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
