I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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