My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
