2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
