I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
