Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
