her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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