she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
