I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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