He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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