I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
