I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
