I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
