Do you still have your period?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
