walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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