I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
