can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
