I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
