Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Too much gin, very little bucket
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
