ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He did a backflip because drugs
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
