whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
