Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
