im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
It's just like the Real World with babies
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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