no, he came in my armpit
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
