Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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