3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Randomize
