But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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