i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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