oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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