I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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