my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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