What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
