So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
my liver is dry heaving
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
