I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
