Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
