i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
