There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
