if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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