oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
