hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
