My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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