whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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