Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
