for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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