don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
