just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
