never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
