Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
