It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize