i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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