I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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