I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
