if i died would you start the facebook group?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize