How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
