Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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