There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize